the day death saved me
by monkeyillusion
Summary: The reason my love life sucked was not that fact he was a death god, not even the fact that he was a homicidal maniac who enjoyed cutting people up with that chain saw thing, no reason my love life sucks is because i am 99.9% sure that he's gay
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Black butler/ Kuroshitsuji

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I don't have any good reason that I was so distracted that morning. It was winter, and I was catching a train from a remote stop somewhere in the countryside. Well, I was meant to be, maybe that's the reason I wasn't looking where I was going- I was in a hurry to get to the stop before the train left, for it would be half a hour until the next one arrived, and I can honestly say that I had no intentions of sitting that long an a frozen bench waiting for train just to get into the city on time just to see my deranged cousin. Well anyway, I was in a bit of a rush, so I never noticed the car speeding towards me until it was too late, but someone else did.

When I recovered from the shock I looked around me for my savior. It didn't take long, and I must say if I had looked properly first, I probably wouldn't have said "thank-you" in such a light manner, but that thank-you was barely out of my mouth when I did.

The first thing I noticed was their hair… well... it was bright red and hard to miss. The second thing I noticed was the fact (and I felt extremely embarrassed by it) that I had no idea whether it was girl or boy.

The next thing drove all embarrassment from my mind, simply because fear left no room for any other emotion. Why was I scared, because the third thing I saw was the huge, oversize chain saw gripped in… his um… her… er... _their_ hand, and the wicked toothy (like as in sharp, pointed, evil type toothy) grin on their face. So you really can't blame me for having no time to be embarrassed over not recognizing their gender immediately.

I took an involuntary step backwards away from him (by that time I had come to the conclusion that since although he was wearing extremely feminine attire, a girl of that age would have had something to show for a chest) and his wicked smile widened.

'I that really the way to treat someone who just saved your life- and believe me i half wish i hadn't; William will have my head for it.' I just stared, who the bloody hell was William, and why on earth did he want me dead?!

'Um… I… sorry' I mumbled, not sure what else to do. I really wondered at that point as to how wide someone's grin to actually get, and why oh why did his teeth have to be so god damned sharp?

'Well what to do now,' he asked as though I was someone who understood him perfectly. 'If you don't die I'll get into trouble, but it would be rather a waste of effort for me to kill you now, don't you think?' I uttered a small squeak- kill me!!!? The pieces were beginning to take shape inside my mind, and come to think of it I do believe my cousin mentioned a guy called William at one stage, gee I hadn't seen my cousin in ages- not since he had tried to trick me into eating that disgusting dog biscuit. I shuddered, remembering that I had actually been going to see him before this whole event began. The man whoeve- no, whatever he was continued talking.

'… although I do rather enjoy the idea of you stained with bright red blood, it does seem a better choice to simply let you live.' Every voice inside my head was yelling CREEP! Well, except that annoying one who nobody likes that was saying in a small tone "why don't we try being friendly after all he did just save us" but like I said- no one pays him any attention any more, not since he told me to eat the biscuit that my cousin gave me… aaanyway I was most definitely liking this guy less and less by the second.

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well that's my introduction, hopefully it's a good one- pleeeeaaaaase review, everyone who does gets a um... a biscuit? *sly smile* or..... maybe just a virtual cookie instead :)


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Black butler/ Kuroshitsuji

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'I guess I'll just make up some excuse…' he seemed to re-realize I was there. '… I'm Grell Sutcliff, nice to meet you.' Oh so like, scare the freaking crap outa me, and then introduce yourself?! what was the deal with this guy. I decided to play it cool though, he could always change his mind- I swallowed glancing at his chain saw.

'Grace Reed' I replied hesitantly accepting his outstretched hand. Well at least he didn't do that annoying thing most guys do when you meet them and look you up and down, and then pretend it hadn't happened- god damned perverts.

'Well Grace, looks like you're going to miss your train.' It didn't really surprise me that he knew what I had been doing; I don't think he could surprise me if he had suddenly sprouted wings and taken off to the moon… actually that's a lie, I'd probably faint if something like that happened but… still.

'Perhaps I can offer you a lift, I happen to be going to the same general destination' Grell queried inspecting his red painted nails.

'Um… okay' I replied cautiously, well at least it was unlikely he planned to er, "take advantage of me-" unless he's just an extremely effeminate guy, but by the looks of his fake eye lashes, I highly doubt it.

'Well, right this way m'lady' he smiled in mock courtesy, offering me his hand again. Once again I reached forward, still wary of that chain saw, and took his hand- and then suddenly we were there. Standing outside my cousins… well you can't really call it a house but…

'Thank you' I mumbled, still not trusting him. He just grinned at me; in a "we are going to meet again because I am a creepy death god" type way- or maybe I just imagined that…? 'Um… seeya' I tried grin back; I don't think it really worked.

'Yes, yes you will' I knew it! That proves that he… and then… because he just… oh never mind. Well by the time I looked up again he was gone, so I turned and knocked on the door of my cousins… house. No answer, I already knew what he was going to do, jump outa some coffin and scare me or something- creep. I opened the door and went inside.

'Look I know you're there, so stop pretending tha-' he walked out from the other room

'Grace!' he smiled, I think he was trying to be welcoming, but it just made him look creepier. 'I wasn't expecting you so early'

'Yeah I ran into your boyfriend' I replied sarcastically- they were perfect for each other.

'Did you now? Who might that be' he asked distractedly, moving back into the other room to finish dissecting some body.

'The name Grell Sutcliff ring any bells' I asked wryly. The Undertaker paused to think for a moment.

'Isn't that the name of Madam Red's butler?' he looked at me confused. 'Melodramatic, brown hair-'

'Red hair' I corrected.

'No… Grell definitely has brown hair…' he insisted.

'Maybe I heard him wrong- anyway, he offered me a lift.' No point telling Silver (don't ask me why I call him that, I just do) everything else that had happened.

'You must be... hungry, after such a long trip' his smile widened.

'What kind of idiot do you take me for?! Like I would accept food from you after…' I shuddered.

'Well if you don't- how will you eat on your stay here?' I sighed,

'Okay smarty pants, but no dog biscuits- got that?!'

'Loud and clear' he went into one of the rooms, I think the kitchen, but it might be a ice-cream warehouse disguised as a kitchen… but most likely just the kitchen.

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Heehee please review, I'll see if I can update soon- writers block hasn't caught me on this one yet…


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Black butler/ Kuroshitsuji

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=1 short boring week later=

The shop door tinkled as someone entered- I dunno how, but Silver had predicted this and hidden in one of his coffins (and guess who got forced to do the same… I'm going to get him back for this)

'Undertaker, hello?' a voice rang out. I heard some talking and a knock on the door of "my coffin"

'Grace, you can come out now' my cousins voice penetrated the blackness and I got out angrily.

'Tell me a little sooner next time, won't you?!' I huffed, looking around at the other people in the room. Some kid, who later was introduced as Ceil Phantomhive (who knew he was just a child?) his butler Sebastian, his aunt Madam Red, and Lau. It was a strange assortment of people.

'I'm going outside' I stated, I wasn't part of this business, and I needed some air.

Stepping out the door I sighed, breathing deeply. I looked over at the carriage parked along side the road, and the driver looked over at me, as though not really interested. Well if that was Madam Red's butler then… I probably did hear him wrong- when he saw me properly though, he grinned. Okay, creepy smile with sharp teeth, check. He placed one finger to his lips and went back to being indifferent. I stared at him and turned around again and rolled his eyes at me "What?" he mouthed silently. I stuck my tongue out… okay I guess it was a little immature but, who cares?

I walked along the lane bored. It was the next day, and I had nothing to do, and silver was busy. He wasn't actually my cousin, but that's what my mum had said he was. So that's what I say he is, weird huh? Well as I was saying, I was walking along the lane besides the park- Bored. I already said that, but it's an important detail of my current state- actually it pretty much sums up my current in one word. Anyway, yes… right… walking- that's what I was doing (and being bored of course) when I heard him shout out from behind me. How did I know it was him? Lucky guess really, actually it wasn't really that lucky- I would have rather he hadn't shown up.

'Wow, what a coincidence' He grinned in a rather theatric voice- oh yeah, big "coincidence" I rolled my eyes.

'Right' I replied shortly. Oh please just go away… please… please?

'How are you today' His smile widened as he ignored my obvious discomfort.

'Bored' I answered automatically.

'Well why don't we see if we can cure you of that?' Oh_ goody_… why me?

'No… I'm fine' I quickly interrupted him. 'Say…' I added as a sudden thought popped into my head. 'Why would someone with "beautiful" red hair like you die it brown?' His grin widened.

'Now it wouldn't be a particularly good disguise if I was recognizable' God he really liked to state the obvious…

'Why are you in disguise?' I asked curiously- I mean it wasn't every day you met a guy who has sharp teeth a chainsaw and likes to go around in disguise.

'Oh wouldn't you like to know' he grinned wider. 'Now about you being bored…'

'Er... actually-'

'WE. ARE. GOING. SHOPPING!' he practically squealed. Wait what? I don't know what was going on in this idiots head but… shopping… shopping… what?

'Um… what?' I asked confused.

'You heard me- shopping! Look at those cloths, you look like you've been run over by a… never mind' He smirked.

'Shut up." I retorted- why'd he have to bring that up.

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Lol and I leave this there ;) I don't know why but they're going SHOPPIING!!!! Please review!!!!


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own Black butler/ Kuroshitsuji

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'Here!' he grinned dragging towards a bright red dress. 'This would look wonderful if you-'

'no.' I don't wear red. I know my hair is Mahogany which is just another name for brownish red but- NO way am I wearing it.

'But… it would suit you so nicely' he protested. 'Fine, if you don't want it I'LL get it.

I know I shouldn't have, and I know it's rude and mean but… I couldn't help but burst out laughing, in fact I was laughing so hard I could hardly breathe. The little voice in the corner was telling me to shut up or the asparagus monster would murder me in my sleep- but like I have previously made clear, I never listen to him… It took me a while to stop and when I looked back at Grell he was giving me a "how on earth is that funny" look which almost made me crack up again… but I managed to hold back.

'Sorry I just… why don't we look at a different color dress for me?' but he refused to do so. In fact by the time I managed to get out he had already forced me into the same dress which he decided not to buy for himself… I think that was my fault.

'Honestly you look great, stop fidgeting' he scolded me like a mum would… I say again: why me?'

Well after he forced me into the one color I have trouble wearing and dragged me all over town in various shops, I was rather tired.

'So' he grinned again.

'So what?' I asked annoyed at him, he rolled his eyes.

'How do you like your new cloths?'

'Oh they're great… but seriously red isn't my color.' I sighed at the ridiculing look he gave me. 'It just doesn't suit me okay?" I glared at him and he shrugged.

'That's YOUR opinion'

'Just because- wait…' was that a compliment? 'What do you mean?'

'It looks good on you- it matches your hair and it compliments your skin color.' He really thought about it? I mean I had been under the impression that he had just jumped at the first red thing he saw… but he had actually been thinking about what would look good. The little voice in the corner was now screaming and running in circles "ahhh he thinks you're pretty! He's so cool and sexy and HE THINKS YOU'RE PRETTY!" and the most god damn annoying part was that most of the other little voices were joining in.

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Any good? I'm trying to make it interesting- but this story isn't meant to be unpredictable and all that- I'm concentrating more on making it funny ;) please review- it'll make the little voices in your head happy

And btw sorry bout the short chapters- it's the only way i seem to be able to write :S


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own Black butler/ Kuroshitsuji

'Thanks' I mumbled looking away, blushing. Me- BLUSHING! I swear if they weren't disembodied representations of my subconscious… oooh I'd like to borrow his chainsaw! He just smiled and didn't seem to notice.

'Just the truth from one lady to another' he smiled _almost_ kindly. Oh yeah, I forgot. Suddenly the reality of the situation hit me in full blast. He (or should I say she) was 100% convinced they were just as much a lady as I was, or at least he was good at acting it.

I kind of smiled half heartedly back. I was already subconsciously thinking over possibilities… what if- AM IM GOING CRAZY? What if what? I convert him, why do I even care? He's not even slightly hot… I mean… SHUT UP! Not to mention he's a bloody psychopath! Ergh if this wasn't such a ridiculous situation I'd be in tears right now, but it IS. Therefore I'm having trouble even grasping the concept. He looked at me with a "are you... ok?" expression on his face and I realized my frustration/bewilderment was probably showing.

'Nothing' I mumbled again, turning away, again hiding my blush. I nearly throttled the little corner voice (who was now being treated like a celebrity) when it wondered allowed if "Grell would find my cheeks all red attractive" I mean seriously? Do I LOOK like one of those brain dead ladies who spend their life's going to balls and giggling at every passing earl and duke? I sighed.

'I should probably be getting home (home... huh, that's a laugh)

'Oh, ok… yeah madam Red is probably wondering where I am…' He replied thoughtfully.

'Did you tell her you were coming here?' I asked confused.

'No… but she can't be telling me what to do all the time- it gets OH so boring' He grinned again. Well I guess it makes sense… somehow… I think.

Actually I was starting to get my own theory of several things with those two- I mean if he hadn't almost killed me, I never would have guessed.. but I guess the chainsaw, teeth and weird cloths makes it a bit obvious… well it was just a theory- but quite honestly I don't really think it can be a coincidence that her butler is… whatever he is.

It's short as usual.. I'm being slow- I'M SO SORRY! *sob* please don't hurt meee!


	6. UPDATE and apologies

Ok... fiiiirst things first- THIS STORY WILL BE UPDATED *sob*

I'm just slow, and I have a million other things on my mind.. I've actually been drawing a lot more than writing and to top it off, recently my computer was wiped and I lost a lot of my files- including all the work I did on this story... Which I suppose isn't that much but I PROMISE I WILL UPDATE THIS!

I just have a lot of other stuff to concentrate on right now… like A LOT!

So yeah... My sincere apologies... written in a form that is probably longer than any of my actual chapters . I am so lame.

M-lusion out.


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